15+ Employees whose coworkers are driving them up the wall: 'He doesn't get my social cues of when I want to end a conversation'

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    'That annoying coworker - what does he/she keep doing?'

    Woman in white shirt holds phone to ear and shrugs with other arm with upset expression, behind her, 2 business women sit behind laptops and look at each other with annoyed looks
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    Cweid Prints. Every. Fucking. Thing. All day long. From the moment he gets here until the moment he leaves. Receives an email? Print it. Sends an email? Prints it. Googles something? PRINTS THE RESULTS PAGE.
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    MrsSwimmer Calls people on speakerphone so we can all hear it! We work in cubicle rows. EVERY DAY!
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    W... Doesn't have a car, 11:55 rolls around "Hey, you guys heading out for lunch? Mind if I hitch a ride?" That alone isn't so bad, but then there are the days when he says "just grab me something, all I have is a card"....
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    Then there are the days when I bring my lunch. "oh, you brought your own lunch today? That's cool I guess..." (Mopes away) then once he bothers everyone with a car, to no avail.... "Hey are those chips? Mind if I have some, I didn't get to have any lunch" YOU'RE A FUCKING ADULT, JON!
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    [... My wife has an annoying co- worker that uses that fake spray tan stuff. We're not sure if it's a nervous tick or what, but she likes to rub the side of her face against door jambs and corners if she is leaning against it while talking to you. Their office is full of orange patches about 5 1/2 feet up from the ground.
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    Jazzremix Finishes words while you're talking like a rapper's hype- man. "So, last night I went to the grocery store (store). When I was in the line to check out (out), the guy in front of me was paying with a check (check). It took this guy 10 minutes to write it out (out)"
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    [….. he smells like sweat, and he keeps eating meatloaf and burping by the fan so it blows into my face. all i smell is B.O. and meatloaf burps edit now he's eating carrots with ketchup. this man is known for talking to himself...a lot, so we all know he's a little odd. But
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    his food choices are incredibly strange... second edit we asked him if he liked meatloaf and he said yes. we also asked him if he liked beyonce, and he was indifferent.
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    fa... He has an amazing quality. He will come to me for help, and ask me a question. Whilst answering the question he will mirror what I'm saying. By the end of the conversation he will repeat the solution back to me and ask me:
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    "Right, have you got that now?" I've never seen anything like it. edit: Ironically one of the questions he asked me was how reddit works, I wonder if he'll see this and will monday involve an interesting chat?!
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    Neeerdlinger He doesn't get my social cues of when I want to end a conversation. I've started to get pretty blatant now, turning my back and starting to type an email, etc. but it doesn't seem to get it. One time I started walking down the corridor to the kitchen to end the conversation and he decided to get up and follow me down, continuing to talk all the way!
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    straydog1980 Used to have a colleague that would listen to one song on loop the whole day every day. The song changed once in a while. For a week it was Jason Mraz
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    AngryBelgian Disappearing for several hours at a time.
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    P... She's just oblivious to why she's a shitty employee. She takes days off because she drinks too much. She disappears for hours while. on the clock. She doesn't understand the business, and I clean up her mistakes. Her boss criticizes her for these things, and she starts crying because she's in a constant state of "going through a lot right now."
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    Wipwip Close talker with coffee breath, who doesnt let you leave the conversation... Dayam!!!
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    [... Sips (slurps) coffee and goes Ahhhhh loudly. Every. Freakin. Time. Forgot to mention, the travel mug he drinks from has some sort of pressure valve that squeals every time he takes a drink.
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    [deleted] Leg tapping.....it's fucking infuriating. We have connected table/spacers, and I've even separated the desks but I'm still constantly vibrating. He's brought down books, name tobelerones, nothing is safe. I can't even have a glass of water on my desk without feeling like I'm in Jurassic fucking Park.
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    [deleted] Wants to be the shop martyr. Volunteers for (very) minor projects and constantly keeps everyone updated with her amazing progress. Is negative. Always turns conversation to herself. Gossips. Is fucking amazing because she completes tasks that are basic parts of our job description and
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    makes sure we all know it. Expects medals for volunteering to work; calls in to see if we 'really need her.' Has a Tinkerbell tattoo. Obsessed with Disney. I could go on.
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    headsortailz First my boss will email me a task. Then he'll call me on the way into the office about the same task. Then he'll stop in my office when gets there about the same damn task! EVERY. DAMN. DAY.
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    hereuntilnow He says "currently right now". Never just "currently" or "right now" or even "at this time", but "currently right now".
  • 23
    DriftMeansMyP I used to work at an office where anything that happened would become gossip fodder instantly. Since I didn't know the snitch was, I would feed different people with various versions of the same story. So when I was asked if I was dating someone, I would try and make it sound that I was confiding them sensitive
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    info. Then I would wait until one of those rumors prevailed, turns out it was the cleaner. Then I became her best friend and kept feeding her with false intel. I hated her.
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    [deleted] Open plan office and he's tries to project image of himself as a people person. So he talks REALLY loudly and tries to make sure every interaction he has with other staff members ends on a hearty laugh. Two minor problems here: (1) He only laughs at his own jokes and (2) he doesn't have sense of humour. That aside, he's a
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    regular joke machine. These are just from while I'm sitting here writing this: ...It's always in the last place you look! HAHAHAHA ...The more the merrier! HAHAHA ...Any excuse! HAHAHAHA
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    ...[to a group of men] Ladies, please! НАНАНАНАНА ... As little as possible! НАНАНАНАНА ...Well, either brave or stupid!! НАНАНАНАНАНАНА НАНАНА
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    bantones He yells "SUPPLIES!!" and then jumps out of the supplies closet.
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    [deleted] Mr. SqueakyShoes is about 70. He looks kinda like Santa Claus if Kris Kringle was 5 feet tall. Mr. SqueakyShoes falls asleep at his desk. I mean, he legit snores at his desk. Mr. SqueakyShoes also has carpel tunnel. He was out of work for a month getting his hand operated on for it.
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    Apparently, it didn't work, because I still listen to him every day saying "Click It" to his voice-command program. There was one Friday that I swore if I heard "Click It" one more time I'd bust down the cubicle. Mr. SqueakyShoes takes his lunch at 10:15 AM. Look, I've been there. You're bored and you're hungry and sometimes the lunch bag
  • 31
    starts looking really fucking appealing mid-morning in a cubicle. But the last thing I need to smell at this hour is fish, which Mrs. SqueakyShoes packs for Mr. SqueakyShoes way too often. One time Mr. SqueakyShoes spilled his nautical soup and it crept under my cubicle. On those weird days in between seasons when the
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    HVAC system has bipolar disorder and gets way too hot, I still get faint hints of low tide wafting up from beneath my desk. Mr. SqueakyShoes is a software developer that has no idea how to use a computer. It took me ten minutes to explain to him how to change margins on a Word doc. This is exacerbated by the fact that
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    he CAN'T USE A MOUSE AND HAS TO NAVIGATE BY VOICE. In the end, Mr. SqueakyShows isn't a bad guy. It's just that we're all trapped in this pressure cooker baking under these fluorescent lights and after a while, some things are just too much. Also, his shoes squeak.
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    Two women in business attire sit behind laptops in office setting and look at each other

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